Just different

A year ago today I was a very happy women. I was 21 weeks pregnant exactly. I had been told at my scan two weeks previously that everything looked good and that I was expecting a boy. I had just started to feel him move regularly.

I had started buying maternity clothes. I was enquiring about maternity leave at work.

I was looking forward to having another son and wondering how I would cope with M and the new baby.

Then a day later my waters broke and I learnt what pPROM stands for.

The women I was a year ago doesn't feel like me any more. I am somebody very different now. Time has helped immensely. From the outside I am no different to the women I used to be. But all the time in the world will never bring me back to who I was a year ago today.

I am not angry. I am not sad (well alright, occasionally I am). I am just different.