Copy of an e-mail sent to a work colleague shortly after I had Orson, I was still in hospital at the time.
Hi XXX
Our son, Orson, died on friday during labour.
I'm still in hospital being treated for infection. I hope to go home
later today.
It's very very hard to cope at the moment, but that is a really
inadequate way to describe how bad it is.
Orson looked perfect and weighed 4lb 11oz.
I will write more when i'm home.
Please let everyone in work know.
Loumary
xx
Showing posts with label hospital admission. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hospital admission. Show all posts
Saturday, 10 July 2010
Thursday, 8 July 2010
31 weeks pregnant. A whole day without going to the hospital?
I am 31 weeks pregnant today.
I was back at the hospital again last night. I was worried about the baby's movements. The midwife found the heartbeat instantly, nobody has ever found it so quick! They monitored the heart rate for 55 minutes and I felt him move a couple times. The doctor then asked for me to be monitored for another 40 minutes as there had been a deceleration probably caused by cord compression. But the second trace was fine so I came home sometime after midnight.
Everything has been okay so far today, in fact there have been lots of movements but we'll see, it seems this week I'm destined to visit the hospital every day! If I don't go today my routine appointment is tomorrow.
M and S came with me to the hospital yesterday as I wanted S there in case it was bad news. It was M's second time in the Labour and Delivery ward, the last time was 2 1/2 years ago when he was born there!
I was back at the hospital again last night. I was worried about the baby's movements. The midwife found the heartbeat instantly, nobody has ever found it so quick! They monitored the heart rate for 55 minutes and I felt him move a couple times. The doctor then asked for me to be monitored for another 40 minutes as there had been a deceleration probably caused by cord compression. But the second trace was fine so I came home sometime after midnight.
Everything has been okay so far today, in fact there have been lots of movements but we'll see, it seems this week I'm destined to visit the hospital every day! If I don't go today my routine appointment is tomorrow.
M and S came with me to the hospital yesterday as I wanted S there in case it was bad news. It was M's second time in the Labour and Delivery ward, the last time was 2 1/2 years ago when he was born there!
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
Passed a clot today
I spent this morning in hospital after passing a clot. Apart from that I felt fine. They tried their best to terrify me. The midwife spent 10 minutes failing to find the baby's heart beat on a ctg monitor, then failed to find it using a sonicaid. Then called a consultant who turned up with an ultrasound machine looking very concerned. She kept asking when I last felt the baby move. After 5 minutes she couldn't find the heartbeat and went off to find someone else to look. Eventually they found it, and monitored him on the ctg for 20 minutes and all was fine. They reckon the lack of fluid and lower powered ultrasound machine made it difficult to find the heartbeat. I reckon it's that consultants just don't do ultrasounds very often!
They reckon that there is about a 5% increased chance of a further bleed and the consultant advised me to stay overnight to be observed. But I didn't feel like they did anything last time this happened when I was in hospital so didn't stay. I'm not far from the hospital (10 minute walk and i would get S to drive so it would probably be quicker) and will call/ go there with the slightest concern. The midwife said she couldn't say for certain I would make it to the hospital in time but she said that would always be the case. My main concern was if something happened whilst I was asleep but the midwife reckoned I would wake up and anyway if I was in hospital I would have to sleep and nobody would check on me during the night.
So I'm just going to watch myself extremely carefully. Hope I made the right decision!
They reckon that there is about a 5% increased chance of a further bleed and the consultant advised me to stay overnight to be observed. But I didn't feel like they did anything last time this happened when I was in hospital so didn't stay. I'm not far from the hospital (10 minute walk and i would get S to drive so it would probably be quicker) and will call/ go there with the slightest concern. The midwife said she couldn't say for certain I would make it to the hospital in time but she said that would always be the case. My main concern was if something happened whilst I was asleep but the midwife reckoned I would wake up and anyway if I was in hospital I would have to sleep and nobody would check on me during the night.
So I'm just going to watch myself extremely carefully. Hope I made the right decision!
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
28 weeks and still pregnant
I'm still pregnant, now 28 weeks and 5 days. Last week was ok. Monday the growth scan showed the baby is still growing and about 4 cm of amniotic fluid (my AFI). I had more steroids thursday and Friday as the consultant reckoned the risk of a second dose was less than the risk to the baby's lungs if we didn't have them. By Thursday my AFI had halved and was about 2.5cm. I got a slight UTI infection and was put on antibiotics, but now off them.
Thursday was good after all the tests were finished. A neonatologist told us we were too pessimistic and said although the baby doesn't have as much chance as a normal baby born at 28 weeks he has a little more than we thought. He also explained the process that will happen if he is born alive. We have to hope they whisk him away after resuscitating him. If they ask us to hold him that means they can't do anything for him.
Saturday night I started bleeding again and passed a dark clot and ended up calling the hospital sunday morning. They admitted me and I've only just got home. There wasn't one thing in particular they were concerned with but lots of little things. First they thought the bleeding could be a sign labour was about to start, but a sterile speculum exam proved otherwise. Then they were concerned my heart rate and temperature were too high, but they went down. After that the baby's heart rate decelerated when they monitored it. Later traces have been fine though. Finally last night as I was about to be let home my heart rate and temperature went up again! I have been fine today and have felt perfectly fit the whole time.
Not sure how long I'll be out of hospital now though, the doctor said he thinks I'll be back soon! Glad to be home. I was in the same ward I was in after having my first son. I don't like being around all the happy new mothers and their babies. Or even the few antinatal patients they have who are very concerned about the such small things to do with their pregnancies - I'd gladly swap with them. I had one in the bed next to me who told me she was 36 weeks pregnant and they thought she might be getting pre-eclampsia. She didn't want her baby yet because she was worried about his lungs... Wish that was me.
Thursday was good after all the tests were finished. A neonatologist told us we were too pessimistic and said although the baby doesn't have as much chance as a normal baby born at 28 weeks he has a little more than we thought. He also explained the process that will happen if he is born alive. We have to hope they whisk him away after resuscitating him. If they ask us to hold him that means they can't do anything for him.
Saturday night I started bleeding again and passed a dark clot and ended up calling the hospital sunday morning. They admitted me and I've only just got home. There wasn't one thing in particular they were concerned with but lots of little things. First they thought the bleeding could be a sign labour was about to start, but a sterile speculum exam proved otherwise. Then they were concerned my heart rate and temperature were too high, but they went down. After that the baby's heart rate decelerated when they monitored it. Later traces have been fine though. Finally last night as I was about to be let home my heart rate and temperature went up again! I have been fine today and have felt perfectly fit the whole time.
Not sure how long I'll be out of hospital now though, the doctor said he thinks I'll be back soon! Glad to be home. I was in the same ward I was in after having my first son. I don't like being around all the happy new mothers and their babies. Or even the few antinatal patients they have who are very concerned about the such small things to do with their pregnancies - I'd gladly swap with them. I had one in the bed next to me who told me she was 36 weeks pregnant and they thought she might be getting pre-eclampsia. She didn't want her baby yet because she was worried about his lungs... Wish that was me.
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
21 weeks pregnant and waiting to lose my baby
I got out of hospital today. I spent 4 nights there waiting to lose my baby. But I am still pregnant, 21 weeks and 5 days today. Here is what happened in hospital.
Early Saturday I called my mother. We were supposed to be meeting my parents later that day. We were going away to the coast of Doset for the bank holiday weekend. My parents staying in their caravan and me, S and M staying in a self catering cottage. My grandmother was also going to be there.
I told my Mum I was in hospital and cried a lot. I couldn't get the words out. Some how she understood and said she and my Dad would come to look after M. I thought that I would be in labour any minute and wanted S with me. Later my parents, M and S were all at the hospital with me. It was an odd almost cheery experience. S was there with me again that evening and stayed until around 9. Saturday came and went and nothing happened.
They did scan me on the Saturday at my request. The doctor had said it was pointless but did it any way. I had around 6cm of fluid.
Nothing happened on Sunday either. The doctor said that I would be able to go home if nothing happened on the Monday. Essentially to wait to miscarry. S was at the hospital whilst he went through everything. But the following day I saw a new consultant. She wanted me to stay another day. I was upset. I wanted to go home.
Finally after a long wait I was allowed home around lunchtime today. I have to take my temperature a lot. Call if it goes above about 37 degrees. Call if my fluid loss smells, goes yellow or green. If I get intense pain or bleeding. If I feel flu like symptoms I should also call.
Because I have gone so many days without infection they now do not know precisely what will happen. The most likely scenario is I will either go into labour or be induced because of infection and my baby will be too young to survive. They won't be able to help him.
Early Saturday I called my mother. We were supposed to be meeting my parents later that day. We were going away to the coast of Doset for the bank holiday weekend. My parents staying in their caravan and me, S and M staying in a self catering cottage. My grandmother was also going to be there.
I told my Mum I was in hospital and cried a lot. I couldn't get the words out. Some how she understood and said she and my Dad would come to look after M. I thought that I would be in labour any minute and wanted S with me. Later my parents, M and S were all at the hospital with me. It was an odd almost cheery experience. S was there with me again that evening and stayed until around 9. Saturday came and went and nothing happened.
They did scan me on the Saturday at my request. The doctor had said it was pointless but did it any way. I had around 6cm of fluid.
Nothing happened on Sunday either. The doctor said that I would be able to go home if nothing happened on the Monday. Essentially to wait to miscarry. S was at the hospital whilst he went through everything. But the following day I saw a new consultant. She wanted me to stay another day. I was upset. I wanted to go home.
Finally after a long wait I was allowed home around lunchtime today. I have to take my temperature a lot. Call if it goes above about 37 degrees. Call if my fluid loss smells, goes yellow or green. If I get intense pain or bleeding. If I feel flu like symptoms I should also call.
Because I have gone so many days without infection they now do not know precisely what will happen. The most likely scenario is I will either go into labour or be induced because of infection and my baby will be too young to survive. They won't be able to help him.
Sunday, 2 May 2010
Finding out my waters had broken (pPROM)
This is what happened on Friday when I found out my waters had broken (known as pPROM).
I had Friday off work. M was in nursery all was fine. I went to a maternity shop and tried on loads of clothes and got some jeans and tops. I had a good day. S came with me to pick M up from nursery and then we met some friends in the pub. I left early with M. Just before I left I popped to the toilet and noticed my knickers were wet. I assumed it was discharge. So left and went to the supermarket with M.
We got home and had some food. I felt a little gush and again my knickers were wet. After a third gush i knew something was wrong. I called the Labour and delivery ward. But I was only 21 +1 weeks pregnant and they don't take women until they are 22 weeks so they said call my doctor.
It was about 9 in the evening by now. I called the out of hours GP number. I spoke to a nurse who was concerned and said she would call some people and get back to me. She called me back as did a doctor. They had terrible trouble getting anyone to see me. The hospital was eventually persuaded to see me in the gyno ward.
By now S was home. He was to put M to bed while I drove to the hospital alone not really believing I would get bad news.
At the hospital the nurse took my details. It took ages for a doctor to see me. I asked the nurse if she sees this happening a lot, she said no i was the first case like this she had come across. Hours later... They had me lie on my back for ages then examined me doing a sterile speculum exam. The junior doctor told me I had lost my waters and was about to go into labour (later I found out this is known as pprom), then he just left me. The nurse gave me something to wear and antibiotics. I called S saying I would call again if I went into labour.
I tried to sleep but couldn't. I cried and cried. I could feel my baby moving and he was going to die soon. It was also my first night away from M. I had told him I would see him when he woke up and now I wouldn't be there.
After a few hours a more senior doctor came to see me. She was lovely. She took my blood. She said there was still hope and that months ago she had seen a women who's waters broke at 22 weeks and whilst I was being diagnosed with pprom earlier that evening she had helped deliver the women's baby by c-section and the baby was ok.
I had Friday off work. M was in nursery all was fine. I went to a maternity shop and tried on loads of clothes and got some jeans and tops. I had a good day. S came with me to pick M up from nursery and then we met some friends in the pub. I left early with M. Just before I left I popped to the toilet and noticed my knickers were wet. I assumed it was discharge. So left and went to the supermarket with M.
We got home and had some food. I felt a little gush and again my knickers were wet. After a third gush i knew something was wrong. I called the Labour and delivery ward. But I was only 21 +1 weeks pregnant and they don't take women until they are 22 weeks so they said call my doctor.
It was about 9 in the evening by now. I called the out of hours GP number. I spoke to a nurse who was concerned and said she would call some people and get back to me. She called me back as did a doctor. They had terrible trouble getting anyone to see me. The hospital was eventually persuaded to see me in the gyno ward.
By now S was home. He was to put M to bed while I drove to the hospital alone not really believing I would get bad news.
At the hospital the nurse took my details. It took ages for a doctor to see me. I asked the nurse if she sees this happening a lot, she said no i was the first case like this she had come across. Hours later... They had me lie on my back for ages then examined me doing a sterile speculum exam. The junior doctor told me I had lost my waters and was about to go into labour (later I found out this is known as pprom), then he just left me. The nurse gave me something to wear and antibiotics. I called S saying I would call again if I went into labour.
I tried to sleep but couldn't. I cried and cried. I could feel my baby moving and he was going to die soon. It was also my first night away from M. I had told him I would see him when he woke up and now I wouldn't be there.
After a few hours a more senior doctor came to see me. She was lovely. She took my blood. She said there was still hope and that months ago she had seen a women who's waters broke at 22 weeks and whilst I was being diagnosed with pprom earlier that evening she had helped deliver the women's baby by c-section and the baby was ok.
Friday, 30 April 2010
pPROM: 21 weeks pregnant and my waters have broken
I was admitted to hospital today. My waters broke. I will probably go into labour or get an infection and have to be induced. At 21 weeks they will be unable to help the baby. I am still in hospital but might be allowed home to wait with monitoring and rest.
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