Just complaining

I finally got a letter in the post yesterday giving me an appointment at the hospital to see my Consultant. 18th October. Ages away. I was told after I had Orson it would be 6 weeks after the birth. I hadn't heard anything last week so called the hospital. That wasn't a fun experience as I ended up being transferred twice and had to explain the situation. I just hate having to say my son was stillborn. One very confused women seemed bewildered as to why I was calling and even asked if I was pregnant again. No. Eventually I got through to my Consultant's PA who knew what I was talking about and said she would put a letter in the post.

I just thought I would be seen earlier. I know my Consultant isn't going to be able to say for definite why Orson died or why my waters broke but I would like to hear her opinion. I also want her opinion on how long to wait before trying to conceive again. I have heard some women have been told to wait a year after pPROM. I hope she doesn't recommend that for me. I can't wait a year. I also want to know what treatment I can expect in a future pregnancy. I have heard between 20 to 40% of women pPROM again. It is terrifying.

Today was Orson's due date. I Never thought he would actually arrive today but it is still a sad day. I went to bed very early in the morning, just after midnight and found myself crying. I always imagined he would be early so thought I would have a baby who was two or three weeks old right now.

I intend to keep busy today, trying not to dwell on the sadness I feel. So off to lunch with M and a friend.

More bleeding and due date confirmed

Had my scan. My official due date is 9th September. Baby is fine. I had more heavy bleeding before the scan. The sonographer said she would expect the other half of my uterus to be doing something, although she did go off to confer with a colleague about it. Bleeding is very common in bicornuate uteruses apparently. I said I had not had it in my previous pregnancy but she didn't have an answer to that. She said to expect more bleeding and that the area of haemorrhage was fairly large.

Did I say that at my appointment before this one the midwife / doctor I spoke to gave me a 50% chance of miscarrying?