Yes, somebody actually said that to me recently in relation to me having another living child. I know it is just one of those things people say usually followed up with "when you are not thinking about it" or something similar, but still...
At the time these words were uttered to me I just laughed. And explained how it had been quite a long time since we originally started trying for a second child - you know before the miscarriage, before Orson - and I am just impatient.
I am not alone in struggling to have another living child. There are many people worse off than me I know but there are also many who are better off. So for the purposes of this post I am going to ignore everybody else and concentrate on me and how I feel about those words.
And how do those seven words make me feel? Annoyed. It is clearly not true. Loads of women have babies when they are not ready. Some already have children and have decided their families are complete and then oops they have another one. So sometimes it happens when you are not ready.
Even if it only happens when you are ready - I am ready. I have been for some time now. I made sure both me and S were ready before we even started trying to conceive Orson. That was a very long time ago now. I was ready for Orson. I was ready for the pregnancy ending in a miscarriage and I am still ready. Just how ready do I need to be?
So the words "it will happen when you are ready" referring to me having a baby are annoying. And not one person who has said those words to me has had a baby that died. I am confident if they had they wouldn't dream of saying that because it is simply wrong. Oh and did I mention it's annoying?