Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Not as bad as it could have been

Work was fine after all. I didn't really come across anybody who didn't know what had happened which helped. Of course I had the last time I was here thoughts but it was fine. There were a few occasions when I was sad and could tell I was close to tears I didn't cry:

Occasion 1 - Towards the end of a meeting with my manager when I was trying to explain how I felt.

Occasion 2 - A colleague decided what I really needed was to see photos of him holding his new born grandson.

Occasion 3 - This was the closest I came to crying. I was going through my 500 e-mails and came across one sent to everyone in our section including me informing everyone that Orson had died. It was a very short e-mail just a sentence or two. What got me was my colleague used the exact words I used in an e-mail to her, ending with the words "...and he was perfect." it made me sad (even thinking of that e-mail makes me a little sad) but I am very glad she used those words.


  1. Oh, how hard hun. Im glad you managed to survive your first day.


  2. Why don't people just get it? How can he even think of showing you a picture of his grandson? Even my coworkers who had miscarried when they were young, not stillbirth, forgot how painful it was just to hear the word "baby" and they used many trigger words that I didn't need to hear. I am sure Orson was so perfect...good to hear that a colleague said those words you needed to hear.