Monday, 15 November 2010

Back to work

Image: br3akthru /
I go back to work tomorrow. My first day of work in 6 1/2 months. I have to admit I am a little concerned. Concerned I am not ready. I think I am but how can I be sure until I actually start back? My biggest fear is talking to people who ask why I have been off work for so long. What do I say? I think everybody in my section will be fine, after all they know what has happened but what about others who don't know? I still have difficulties telling people what happened to Orson. Once they know I can talk about him, but just telling them initially is hard.

My biggest fear is crying at work.

The last time I was in work was April 28th. I was 5 months pregnant. I had only told my colleagues about my pregnancy a couple weeks before although a few had guessed as I was showing. I left work that day anticipating a long weekend away with my family. That Friday evening my waters broke and 10 weeks later, well you know the story by now... So tomorrow will be a day of experiences where I will be able to (but of course won't) say "last time I did this I was pregnant."

Let's see how the day goes.


  1. I will be thinking of you. I went back only two weeks after the loss; it was a stupid idea but I didn't cry at work. I cried in the morning and the drive back home for a couple of months. Work was where I hid from the reality of my life. I hope there are those coworkers who genuinely care for you at work; some stopped talking to me b/c they didn't know what to say.

  2. Mary, hope the day went ok. Hope it wasn't too hard. I did the "last time" so many times, still do. With restaurants, shops, and other things. And what's up with Fridays? My water went on Friday morning!