Thursday, 13 January 2011

Three years ago...

Three years ago... Before I continue I want to warn any of you reading who have recently suffered losses, this blog entry is not about my loss but instead about M's birth. It is coming up to his third birthday I have found myself thinking about my situation three years ago. I want to write down what happened, and for once on this blog the end is a very happy one.

Just after Christmas in 2007 I was driving home from visiting S's parents when I noticed I hadn't felt M move, once we got home I still couldn't feel him move. So we called the hospital that evening. I was 35 weeks pregnant. They told me to come into the Labour and Delivery Suite immediately. We walked to the hospital. At no point did I think there was a big problem. In retrospect considering all the stories I have heard since losing Orson I cannot believe I waited a whole day without feeling movements before calling the hospital. And how could I not have been petrified that we had lost him?

As soon as we arrived at the hospital the staff ushered us into a private room. Within minutes a doctor was in the room with us. She immediately started to scan me. A midwife was also present. Now that I think about it the situation is so similar to that when we were told Orson's heart had stopped but at the time I did not think there was a problem with M. I was of course correct. I recall the midwife saying to S "you can hold her hand if you want" I think they were thinking it was bad news.

M was fine, but he didn't move at all on the scan. They scanned me for a long time and gave me ice cold water to drink in the hope he would move but he was having a lazy time and wouldn't move for them. After the scan they monitored him using a ctg machine, he finally moved and they were less concerned. They let me home.

What followed was two weeks of hospital appointments almost every day. The next day I spent most of the day at the hospital, monitoring M's heart, growth scans, AFI checks, chord blood flow checks... They booked me in for an appointment with a consultant for two weeks later. They told me that I was probably not feeling movements because my placenta was anterior. Whilst waiting for my consultant appointment a few times a week I had ctgs of M's heart at the hospital.

Again knowing what I know now I cannot believe I did not worry about my treatment. I was feeling about one movement from M a day. That was not right but I just did not worry.

Finally the day of consultant appointment came around. It was also my last day of work. I was about to go on maternity leave. The consultant insisted on repeating every test I had already had, I am so glad she did because the growth scan showed that M had not grown in the last two weeks. She immediately booked me in for an induction.

Just before the induction was started I was still not convinced there was a problem with M. I was concerned I was being delivered too early. I even asked for a second doctor to come and explain why I needed to be induced. It was only when she mentioned stillbirth that I suddenly realised that I was happy to be induced that day.

The day before M was born the induction started at about 11 in the morning. I had been told that because M was my first baby and because I was being induced early the induction would most likely take days. I was convinced I had about 4 days before he would make an appearance.

I had a gel pessary and had to wait hours before they examined me to see if it had started working. During this time I felt perfectly normal. I even popped out of the hospital to go to a coffee shop for lunch. Because I had felt nothing the midwife who examined me thought nothing had happened yet - until she checked. I had painlessly dilated enough to allow them to break my waters (ironic?).

I will spare you the next few hours in detail. To be honest I do not remember them that well, isn't amazing how we forget these things? I was on a drip with continuous monitoring of M's heart. He was eventually delivered with the help of a ventouse at 6 minutes past 1 in the morning. He weighed 5lb 10 oz.

I am incredibly grateful he is here. I cannot believe he will be three years old. The time has gone so quickly.

Happy Birthday M.


  1. thanks for reading my blog and for your kind comment. I too had PPROM at 17 weeks with my son Levi. I was on bed rest for 2 wks and he was born at 19 wks. He lived for a little over an hour. It was awful and all the terrible things that you know it to be... But, the Lord is good and continues to renew our hope with each day. Praying for you.

  2. Mary, I'm so glad that M made it here safely. Hope he had lovely birthday.
    Matilda was born 1.04 am. Also at my ultrasound 2 weeks ago I was told I had anterior placenta. I must find out if I had anterior placenta with Matilda, as I didn't ever feel her moving. Not properly.

  3. Stana - sounds like you may well have had an anterior placenta with Matilda. Orson had one too, I wonder if you are more likely to get an anterior placenta if you have already had one before?