Three years ago. I slept well. I was happy. I woke up early. I felt you move. I thought you were safe. I drifted back to sleep. 

And then the pain. And the hospital. And the scans. And then no heartbeat.

Disbelief. Pain. Fear. 

Then I held you.

Three years later. It's your birthday. I cannot sleep. Tears run down my face.

I still miss you. I still love you. And I'm still so very sorry.

Mummy
xx

Just a quick hello

I'm posting again but I think it will be a minor blip. I just couldn't let Orson's third birthday pass without marking it here. I wrote the next post when I couldn't sleep last night.