Three years ago. I slept well. I was happy. I woke up early. I felt you move. I thought you were safe. I drifted back to sleep. 

And then the pain. And the hospital. And the scans. And then no heartbeat.

Disbelief. Pain. Fear. 

Then I held you.

Three years later. It's your birthday. I cannot sleep. Tears run down my face.

I still miss you. I still love you. And I'm still so very sorry.

Mummy
xx

Just a quick hello

I'm posting again but I think it will be a minor blip. I just couldn't let Orson's third birthday pass without marking it here. I wrote the next post when I couldn't sleep last night.

Thank you and bye for now

I am sorry to say that I am not going to be posting here any more. I have thought about whether to continue blogging here but think it best to stop. At least for the foreseeable future. I am a little sad about this decision. This blog has been a big part of helping me to cope with Orson's death but I am just not posting regularly enough at the moment.

I want to thank all of you for being there for me since I started blogging. I have really appreciated your support. I would be lost without you all.

xx