Counselling verdict

My Consellor's verdict today - my well being is a bit low. Or to put it in English I'm a bit sad. Of course I had already noticed this.

I have had 11 sessions now and will not have any more. The sessions are provided by a charity and are supposed to be short term, normally just 10 but I was given an extra one. To be honest I am not sure continuing them would be all that beneficial any way. I think I would be just going over a lot of the same issues, or variations of the same issues. Talking about the issues again and again isn't going to change them.

I have to admit I was a bit sorry to stop having counselling. It has been nice knowing that I could tell the Counsellor my lowest of feelings and that I could talk about Orson and the miscarriages knowing that she wouldn't judge me. Or that if she did she wouldn't say she did. She reassured me that my feelings are completely normal.

But has it helped me? I did a test on my first day of counselling and I repeated it today. The test judges how you are feeling on a range of subjects. My scores 11 sessions later were almost identical. Everything is within normal ranges apart from my well being which scores lower than average, essentially I am sadder than the average person.

I was kind of hoping the counselling would be some kind of miracle cure for feeling sad. But it hasn't been. My conclusion? There is no cure. That in itself makes me a little sad. But I believe it will get better. I think time just happens, and as time happens life happens and slowly, very slowly it gets easier to cope. Counselling whilst helpful isn't a shortcut for time.