We didn't even think about our decision until we dropped M off at nursery this morning. What followed was a terrible hour or so where we discussed the options and couldn't decide. Do we continue with this pregnancy even though it is unlikely to end well?
We couldn't reach a decision.
So today we saw the consultant again and asked more questions. What chance is there that we will get a healthy baby? Less than 10%.
What sort of disabilities can we expect? Cerabal palsy is very likely if he is born after 24 weeks but before 28 weeks. He is likely to need lifelong care from us.
What is the termination procedure if we decide to go down that route? Be warned before reading this I was shocked - feel free to skip... At 23 weeks there is a chance he would be born alive so they would want to stop his heartbeat to save him any pain before birth. This involves an ultrasound scan where they insert an injection through my stomach to the baby to stop his heatbeat. They then watch for 3 minutes to ensure the heart has stopped. I would then be sent home after taking a tablet and asked to come back for the induction process a couple days later. What follows is pretty much a normal induction process. The whole process would likely take 4 days.
I was shocked on hearing the termination process. I just felt i could not allow anybody to stop our son's heart. Not if he has a chance no matter how small. I worry about continuing the pregnancy. What if we continue and he is subjected to a lifetime of painful operations and procedures? How would having a severely disabled brother affect our other son? How will it affect our relationship?
We asked the consultant what he would do. He said he would continue with the pregnancy and that if we get to 28 weeks then the risk of disabilities goes down and they should be able to assess lung function within about 6 hours of birth.
No decisions were definitely made but I think we both knew on getting the consultant to answer the questions that we had to continue the pregnancy.
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